Fawful vs Sans
Description Mario Bros. vs Undertale! Which frightening funnyman will pull through? Will Sans taste the mustard of doom? Or will Fawful have a bad time? Intro Boomstick: 'Ah, the comic relief. The characters who can take the darkest of scenarios and make it funny! Like me! '''Wiz: '''But behind their smiles often lies a dark, twisted soul. Like you. '''Boomstick: 'Fawful, Cackletta's Most Bestest Minion. '''Wiz: '''And Sans, the comedic skeleton from Undertale. '''Boomstick: '''He’s Wiz and I’m Boomstick. '''Wiz: '''And it’s our job to analyze their weapons, armor and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE. Sans (Cue Once Upon a Time) '''Wiz: Long ago, two races ruled over the Earth… Boomstick: Goat People and Dora the Explorer clones! Wiz: N-no… Humans and Monsters. One Day, a war broke out between the two races, spanning for some time. Boomstick: However, due to the fact that us humans are too downright awesome, the monsters lost the war and were sealed underground with a magic barrier that, once you’re in, you can’t get out. Wiz: However, the magical seal can be broken by someone possessing a strength equal to seven human souls. Boomstick: So, the Goat king, Asgore, thought up a plan to get revenge on the pesky humans that sealed his people underground. Wiz: If any human fell down into the monsters’ realm, they would be brought to Asgore and have their soul harvested, killing them in the process. Boomstick: Naturally, all of his monster brethren were all for the whole “revenge on humanity through genocide” plan. Except for his wife, Toriel, who left him. I feel your pain, goat buddy. My wife left me after she found out I was planning to kill, too. Granted, I planned to kill her, but— Wiz: ANYWAY, he entrusted this task to Alphys, his royal scientist, and Undyne, the head of his royal guard. He also had some unknown help from a pair of seemingly inept skeletons: The loud, lanky, royal guardsman wannabe Papyrus… Boomstick: And his brother, the lazy comic, Sans. (Cue sans.) Wiz: Nobody knows where the skeleton brothers came from. They just showed up in the cold town of Snowdin one day and began acting as sentries, looking out for any humans that cross their path. Although Papyrus desperately wants to find and catch a human, Sans couldn’t really care less, using his “Work time” to take naps, sell hot dogs and take as many breaks as he can. Boomstick: When he’s not “Working,” he can be found eating at Grillby’s Diner eating burgers doused with ketchup, doing Stand-Up Comedy at the MTT Resort, or just reciting terrible skeleton-based puns. Wiz: Excuse me, Kettle, there’s a pot on the phone saying you’re black. Boomstick: Him again? Tell that pot to quit being racist! And get some f***ing glasses! Wiz: Riiiiight. Anyway, several years after said decree, a human child falls into the underground. Upon meeting said human, instead of capturing them- Boomstick: ...'which would have involved actually working- '''Wiz: ...'he decides to befriend them with a handshake. Cushion Sound '''Boomstick: Heheh… Farts. Wiz: After hiding you from his brother via a … conveniently-shaped lamp, Sans shows off some of his skills if you have a discerning eye. He apparently knows the entire underground so well that he can take “Shortcuts” to various places in a flash by walking in the opposite direction. Boomstick: How in the… Where did… Isn’t that just teleportation? Wiz: And once you duel his brother Papyrus, who can use bones to attack and can make your soul heavy using his special “Blue Attack”… Boomstick: Wait, WHAT? Wiz: …It’s implied that Sans can do the same attacks. As the story progresses, you become much more acquainted with Sans, to the point where he even shows you some of his shortcuts and takes you out to dinner at Grillby’s and the MTT Lounge. Boomstick: As well as pranking the ever-living hell out of the poor, trusting protagonist. Cushion Sound Boomstick: Heheheh… it’s still funny. (Cue Unseen Syndrome 0:00- 0:25) Wiz: After he treats you to dinner, he tells you why, unlike Papyrus, he didn’t try to capture you. It turns out that the only reason he treated you as nice as he did was because he was asked to by Toriel, who resided by his post. He even claims that if Toriel had said nothing, he would have killed you at your first encounter. Boomstick: And he isn’t bluffing when he says that either. Wiz: Near the end of the game, Sans reveals that he has been watching the player the entire game and judges you for everything you did. If you made it through the underground without harming a single soul, he sends you to Asgore, telling you that the fate of humans and monsters is in your hands. Boomstick: However, if you had the balls, or the heartlessness, to kill every single thing you came across… his… Not-so-friendly side reveals itself. Wiz: Behind Sans’ lazy, goofy exterior, there’s a powerful warrior with absolutely no mercy. Sans: it’s a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming… on days like these, kids like you… Should be burning in hell. Sans’ First Attack Boomstick: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA! HOLY HELL ON A HOT DOG! WHAT IS--- soul breaks (Cue Unseen Syndrome @ 0:29) Boomstick: Whoa… This guy must be super strong! Lemme check his stats. 1 ATK, 1 DEF, 1HP. The Easiest Enemy. Boomstick: Wh… WHAAAAAAT?????? Wiz!! There is no way… NO WAY that he only has ONE ''ATK! How in the hell did he decimate me so quickly with that piddly attack power??? '''Wiz:' The stats are correct, Boomstick. While his attacks only deal 1 damage at a time, they ignore invincibility frames, and leave a damage over time known as Karmic Retribution, allowing him to deal a punishing amount of damage. Similarly, while he genuinely does actually have 1 HP and 1 DEF, he is fast enough to dodge almost any attack without fail. Boomstick: With a wave of his hand, he can unleash a barrage of attacks that are nearly impossible to dodge. He can use Papyrus’ “Blue attack” to make your soul heavy enough to fall on top of his bone attacks. He can also grab you BY YOUR SOUL and fling you around like a ragdoll! Holy Shit! Wiz: He can even use laser cannons called “Gaster Blasters” in various sizes to try to disintegrate his opponent. He starts off only using a few at a time, but the longer he fights, the more he uses and the more often he uses them. Boomstick: If someone manages to survive his onslaught of pain, eventually he’ll get tired and try to spare them. However, if the opponent that agrees to spare him has done something atrocious, say, genocide, for instance… “Getting Dunked On” Boomstick: Why that sneaky little… Wiz: However, if you turn down his offer, he begins teleporting himself and his opponent to random areas, transitioning attacks each time, going faster and faster as time goes on. Boomstick: This usually ends with a powerful, nearly unavoidable gauntlet of attacks that spells death for pretty much anything in its wake. Wiz: Sans is definitely powerful when he wants to be, but it takes a LOT to get him riled up enough to fight. Even if his brother is killed, he only gives you a guilt trip, calling you a “dirty brother killer”. Also the laziness he shows prior to fighting him often rears its ugly head in combat. He can get tired while fighting, to the point of having his "special attack" be literally nothing and not ending his turn, preventing the player from accessing the menu, hoping for the player to become bored as time flies. Boomstick: But, since most enemies don’t play be turn-based strategy rules, he is often left open to attacks. Even if his attack does work, he falls asleep due to boredom, which is often followed by his death. Not to mention if his opponent doesn't have ''a soul... say, an asshole flower, for example... his soul manipulation powers are rendered useless. '''Wiz:' Even with his flaws, there are very few who can stand up to Sans… granted, very few have even tried. Boomstick: I’ll just reiterate what you already know: If you're looking to pick a fight, avoid the funny bone! Sans: don't you think... if you have some sort of special power... that you should use it to do the right thing? Frisk: Yes. Sans: really... Then why'd you kill my brother? *Disappears* Fawful (Cue Beanbean Castle) Wiz: '''There aren’t many people who haven’t heard of the thriving Mushroom Kingdom, especially since it’s the home of the powerful Italian Plumber duo, the Mario Bros. But because of its popularity, not many have heard of its next door neighbor, the Beanbean Kingdom. Not, at least, until the fair Princess Peach finds herself the victim of ''yet another ''world domination plot by two villains from said kingdom. '''Boomstick: Can that woman ever just stay out of trouble? Anyways, the resident baddie, Bowser, pissed that someone else did his job, grabbed his army- Along with his two least favorite plumbers- and took the fight to the Beanbean Kingdom. Wiz: '''On their way to the kingdom, they were intercepted by the two Beanbean fiends: the wicked Cackletta, and her self-proclaimed “Most Best Pupil”, Fawful. '''Boomstick: '''He may just look like a wussy little bean, what with his stupid swirly eyes, his dumb grin, and his weird little laugh, but he’s way more trouble than he looks. Even in his first sentence, you know this little f***er is gonna get on your nerves. '''Fawful: I HAVE FURY! Princess Peach’s sweet voice will soon be the bread that makes the sandwich of Cackletta’s desires! And this battle shall be the delicious mustard on that bread! The mustard of your doom! Boomstick: 'What the… I don’t… Can we get a translator in here? (Cue "Fawful is There") '''Wiz: '''Despite looking and sounding insane, Fawful is actually quite brilliant. He has several abilities and weapons up his red, robed sleeves. The most used of which is his headgear. '''Boomstick: '''The weird head dingus of his has a bunch of really useful stuff in it, like a jetpack, a grappling hook, and a vacuum that can ''inhale people’s souls! '''Wiz: '''His headgear can fire red and green energy blasts that are powerful enough to incapacitate Bowser in one shot, and, if enough are used, can take down a flying airship. Although it is very powerful it is also rather fragile and can break under enough pressure is applied to it. '''Boomstick: '''Luckily, he has a backup in case it breaks. '''Wiz: '''But that’s not his only weapon. Before fighting Cackletta, Fawful makes one final stand against the pair of plumbers and finally reveals what he’s been hiding underneath that robe… '''Fawful: Finally! Now is where my true might shines, like many angry sunbeams of rage! Boomstick: '''PFFT… HAHAHAHAHA! THAT’S HIS F***ING BATTLE SUIT? A PINK UNITARD? HAHAHAHAHA! '''Wiz: '''While it definitely looks… bizarre… this suit gives Fawful limited flight and the ability to fire small bursts of electricity... that can be repelled with hammers. . But, of course, the Mario Bros. defeat him and his mistress and saved the two kingdoms, ridding the Beanbean threat once and for all… '''Boomstick: '''Or did they? (Cue Deep Castle) '''Wiz: Wouldn’t you know it, despite Fawful exploding, he somehow survived, and began biding his time by hiding underground and masquerading as a bean-loving badge salesman, planning revenge, until one day he put his plan into action. Boomstick: '''In no time at all, the former henchbean created an army of Fawful-ized minions from Bowser’s Army using his new gun, infected the Mushroom Kingdom’s denizens with… Kirby Syndrome… and unleashed the power of the Mushroom Kingdom’s evilest being, the Dark Star. How he did all this so quickly? F*** if I know. '''Wiz: Now holding the power of the Dark Star in his possession, he used his headgear to consume half of the Dark Star, transforming him into Dark Fawful. (Cue Final Antasma Battle) Boomstick: '''Unlike his unitarded form, Dark Fawful has way more power and a much more intimidating getup. He can now shoot balls of dark energy as well as create small wormholes to change their direction. Now that’s thinkin’ with portals! '''Wiz: It would also seem that the Dark Star powered up his headgear as well. Now it can take far more damage, heal Fawful with dark clouds, and it even has a grappling hook. Boomstick: '''I gotta get me some headwear like that! '''Wiz: Although he has a lot of brains and dark power on his side, he’s still a weakling. He usually leaves most of the dirty work to his minions. He even has trouble picking up and carrying Peach! Boomstick: '''And have you seen her waistline? She’s definitely not very heavy. He also has his dumb moments, like how he constantly telegraphs his attacks, how he tells you ''EXACTLY ''how to defeat his… pig slave…, and how he doesn’t seem to recognize the baby versions of the Mario Bros, despite them wearing the ''SAME ''caps and the ''SAME ''overalls, simply because they don’t have mustaches! '''Wiz: And even though the Dark Star gives him plenty of power, if he takes too much damage, he transforms into a helpless little bug. Boomstick: '''EWWW! Squish it! Squish it! '''Wiz: Even though he has plenty of flaws, he also has three things working for him. Boomstick: '''He has brains, he has chortles, and he has fury. '''Fawful: I WILL! HAVE! FURY! I LAUGH AT DEFEAT! I FIGHT WITH RAGE! I HURT YOUR FACES! Hooof… Hefff… Did I have… Insanity? Intermission Wiz: 'All right, the combatants are set, lets end this debate once and for all. '''Boomstick: '''It is now the time for the having of a battle to the death!... Sorry. DEATH BATTLE! Place: Grillby’s Date and Time: Monday, 5:00 PM (Cue sans.) After a long day of work at his guard post/ hot dog stand, a big-boned skeleton wearing a blue jacket, shorts, and a pair of slippers casually strides into Grillby’s diner. “hey everybody.” When he doesn’t hear the usual “Hey, Sans!” he looks around and sees the regulars have been inflated to bulbous proportions. Seemingly oblivious, he walks past them and gets up on one of the barstools, looking carefully to make sure that it wasn't one that he had put a whoopie cushion on. “yo grillby! can i get the usual? thanks.” In a few seconds, a man with a head of flames brings out a burger and a bottle of ketchup. Before he heads back into the kitchen, Sans gets his attention. “hey Grillby… what have ya been feedin’ these guys? they look like they’re about to blow up!” Just as Sans begins to pour the ketchup onto the burger, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. When he picks it up, he hears a familiar voice screaming on the other end. “BROTHER! HELP!” “whoa whoa whoa! what’s the problem, bro?” “P-P-PROBLEM? NO PROBLEMS! JUST SOME SHORT GREEN UPSTART HAS AN ARMY AND IS INCAPACITATING EVERYONE INCLUDING UNDYNE AND I’M SCARED. NOTHING THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN’T HANDLE. HOWEVER, IF YOU WANT TO COME AND ASSIST, BE MY GUEST.” Over the phone, an explosion interrupts Papyrus. The line goes dead. After Sans hangs up, his face goes from his usual carefree smile to… well… he’s still smiling, but he’s clearly more concerned than he was. He grabs the bottle of ketchup and sticks it in his pocket, hops off of the barstool and makes his way to the door. “grillby. i’m gonna make this a to-go order. something came up.” Place: Judgement Hall Date and Time: Monday, 5:05 PM (Cue Fawful's Evil Plan) Papyrus backs away from the slowly advancing army of green-skinned creatures in front of him. The leader, a short, green man with a red cloak, swirly glasses, and a wide, disturbing smile looks at the lanky skeleton and lets out a high-pitched laugh. “Hahahahaha! Are you to be telling me that a scrawny bone man, an angry spear fish, and a robot that is fabulous is all that your 'Royal guard' has up its stupid sleeves to go up against the great Fawful’s fury? Hahaha! I laugh at you with pity like a child at a terrible circus show!” Fawful floats on his hovercraft past his previous foes- an unconscious Undyne and a dismantled Metatton- and pushes Papyrus to the ground, making his way toward the king’s chamber. “W-WAIT! YOU… HAVE NOT WON YET…” Fawful turns around and looks at Papyrus, propping himself up on one knee, glaring at the green tyrant. “THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS EVEN STRONGER THAN I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS! AND HE WILL COME FOR YOU!... I HOPE.” Fawful looks down at Papyrus, now angry. “Grr! Why do you keep living? You are like an ugly cockroach who eats vitamins!” Fawful readies a blast from his headgear, aiming at the scared skeleton. “AND NOW YOUR FINK RAT FACE WILL BE SQUASHED!” “yeah, i wouldn’t do that if were you.” Fawful stopped and looked behind him at whatever said that. He looks down and sees Sans, who has his hands in his pockets and his head down. Papyrus looks at his brother and smiles. “S…SANS…” He then passes out from exhaustion. “What??” Fawful groans. “Another puny bone man appears in front of Fawful? Why must you multiply like cloning rabbits that are annoying?” He looks back at Papyrus, then back to Sans. “And why do you reminding me of the mustached overalls that I despise?” Sans takes one hand out of his pocket and makes a sweeping motion towards the area behind Fawful. “sorry, pal, but you won’t be goin’ any further.” “I will not be going further? HA! Fawful laughs at your stupid bone-face! What is giving you the thought of that? A pudgy, tiny thing such as you couldn’t hope to do the standing up to my army!” “army?” asks Sans, looking behind Fawful. “you mean that army?” Fawful spins around and looks at his army… or rather, what remained of it. Where Fawful’s army was, there is now a pile of greenish corpses, each one impaled by a bright blue bone spear, and Fawful’s previous victims are nowhere to be seen. Fawful stares in disbelief. “I… What… They… When…But… Why did my army have destruction like suicidal shish-kebabs?” “i’m not surprised,” chuckles Sans, shrugging. “they looked like ''green''horns, anyways.” Fawful stares daggers at Sans, still bearing his insane grin. “You… you FINKIEST OF FINK RATS!” Fawful’s headgear transforms into its jetpack form. “YOU WILL TASTE THE SPICY MUSTARD OF REVENGE FOR LOOKING LIKE THE OVERALLED MUSTACHE BROTHERS AND WASTING THE TIME THAT IS FAWFUL’S!” (Cue "Backbone") Sans chuckles to himself again as Fawful rises. “i’ll pass, buddy. i prefer ketchup. and speaking of time…” Sans’ left eye flashes light blue. “You’re about to have a bad one, punk.” fight. Fawful fires his pre-charged blast at Sans. With his hands still in his pocket, he slides to the side, avoiding it by a long shot. “What the-“ Fawful charged up multiple blasts and fired all of them at the skeleton, who dodges all of them. Sans laughs. “gotta say, greenie; i’m having a blast.” Before can Fawful fire off another blast, Sans lifts up his hand, gesturing at Fawful. A blue heart appears on his chest. “What is this heart of blue color?” Fawful asks. “sorry,” Sans smiles. “you looked a little ''blue.” He moves his hand up, and Fawful flies up. “so i wanted to lift your spirit.” With a quick flick, Sans’ hand motions to the floor. Fawful flies down just as quickly, smashing his hovercraft in half and landing face-first on the cold ground. Before Fawful can get his bearings, Sans flings him to the right wall. Then into the left wall. Then to the ceiling. Then the floor again. Fawful eventually gets up, gasping for air and wincing in pain. His headgear is completely broken. And, despite missing a tooth, Fawful still wears a psychotic grin. “Huff… Puff… Is that… all… that you are having?” Fawful wheezes. Sans chuckles and snaps his fingers. Suddenly, two demonic-looking skulls appear on either side of him. “nah. i held back a bit.” Fawful looks at the Gaster Blasters in shock. Then, he cackles. “Hah! You are thinking that you are clever, do you not?” Fawful regains his composure and stands up. “Well… you are not the only one that is back-holding! Fawful is holding so very much back that he is looking like a chiropractor of RAGE!” Dramatically, he throws off his robe, revealing his pink jumpsuit. He cackles at Sans. “Now! You behold my real power!” Sans stands there, Gaster Blasters still ready to fire, staring at Fawful’s suit. After a few seconds of silence, he chuckles. “well, bud… it really suits ya.” (Cue “Return of the Brilliant Thief") He fires one Gaster Blaster at Fawful. In a flash, Fawful jumps out of the way, flapping his arms. He fires the other one at the now airborne Fawful, who swoops out of the way, cackling. Sans sees the antenna on Fawful’s head spark with electricity. “Have you the readiness for this?” Fawful fires multiple balls of electricity that rush toward Sans. After dodging a few of them, he summons several bones to block the rest. Sans smiles and flings the bones like spears in the direction of Fawful, who dips and dives around them, dodging every single one. After the bones miss him, Fawful swoops in, firing five electric balls toward Sans. Sans blocks the electricity with more bones and sidesteps to the right a split second before Fawful reaches him. Fawful flies past Sans and loops around for another attack. Before he could do so, Sans motions toward Fawful, flinging Fawful to the floor and dragging it across the tiles. As Fawful tries to push himself up, two bone spears come down on his sides, pinning the wings of his suit to the ground. “What?” Fawful growls, struggling to break free. “Why is my suit not being able to fly? What has your dirty bone face done???” “can’t tell ya,” says Sans, summoning a Gaster Blaster above Fawful. “i’ve just been wingin’ it up to this point.” The Gaster Blaster fires, hitting Fawful directly. Fawful screams in pain as the laser hits him. When the laser clears, Fawful is seen charred and unmoving. Sans breathes deeply and sighs. He’s sweating profusely and taking faster breaths. Thinking that he has won, he turns around to check his friends’ conditions. Part 2: I Have Darkness Suddenly, he hears Fawful’s familiar cackle. Sans spins around and sees the area covered in a black and purple smoke. (Cue "Kirby Miracle Matter Remix" ) Out of the smoke, a ball of dark energy rushes towards Sans. Reacting quickly, Sans slides out of the way and the dark ball explodes behind him. As the dark smoke clears, Sans could see Fawful’s silhouette cackling. Suddenly, the silhouette vanishes. Sans hears the sound of a ray gun fire behind him. He sidesteps again, narrowly avoiding a line of purple stars. He turns around again and sees Fawful, but he looks… different. He’s wearing a dark cloak, he has his headgear back, and his swirly glasses have turned blood-red. “I! HAVE! DARKNESS!” Fawful yells, cackling afterwards. Sans breathes heavily… “geez… you’re really durable…” Fawful stops cackling and beams with pride. “Very thanking you! Fawful has been doing the muscle exercises, and-“ Fawful realizes what he is doing. “HEY! Do not distract Fawful’s fury by giving compliments to his physique!” Sans chuckles. “sorry about that, pal. look, what do you say we forget about this fighting?” Fawful looks at Sans, confused. “you know, i bet we could be friends. you like laughin’ just as much as I do… just lay down your weapon, and—“ Sans leans to the side, narrowly avoiding another shadowy ball launched by Fawful. Sans shrugs. “welp, it was worth a shot.” The shadowy ball explodes behind him. “guess you like doing things the hard way, huh?” In a flash, Sans warps to the opposite end of the judgement hall. The floor is now covered with bones of various sizes. Fawful smiles, enables the jetpack on his headgear, and flies over the bones toward Sans. Gaster Blasters appear around him, firing immediately. Fawful dives around them, focusing on his opponent. Fawful fires dark orbs at his target. Sans throws bones that cancel out each orb. With a lash, Fawful’s headgear launches its grappling hook towards Sans. Sans steps out of the way and grabs the headgear by the neck, flinging it, and Fawful, into the wall, before aiming four Blasters at him. Fawful quickly generates four wormholes around him, warping the blasts and protecting Fawful long enough to stand upright. After the first wormholes vanish, he generates four more on either side of Sans, who warps away just before the blasts burst through the wormholes. “huff… huff…" Sans warps Fawful and himself to the other end of the room, launching more bones at Fawful, who dodges flawlessly. “huff… huff…" Sans warps Fawful and himself again. Fawful fires dark orbs and headgear blasts, which Sans dodges and blocks with bones. “huff… huff…“ Sans and Fawful warp all over the hall, countering each other blow for blow, blast for blast, neither one letting up for fear of their life. Suddenly, they both warp into the center. Sans is breathing heavily and drenched in sweat. Fawful is breathing heavily as well. Even his headgear is breathing funny… somehow. “huff… huff… alright, that’s it. make it through this, and i’ll be forced to use my special attack.” “Hah… hah… be doing… your worstest… Fawful… can take… what you are… throwing…” Sans warps the both of them again, Fawful on one end of the hall, Sans on the other. Every wall is covered in bones. Before Fawful can fly through them again, he feels himself being pulled towards them. He uses his jet to get some balance and narrowly avoids the bones on the floor. He tries his hardest to fly around the bones, but while he narrowly avoids some, a few stray bones crash against him as he flies toward Sans. Once he makes it through the bone gauntlet, he smashes against the rear wall, but pushes off before several bones jut out. Sans begins flinging his arm around wildly, not caring where he’s aiming. Fawful, on the opposite end of his attack, is being smashed against wall after wall, steadily looking worse and worse with each smash. His helmet begins breaking into pieces. His glasses begin to crack. Some of his teeth chip and fall out. As Sans’ hands slow, Fawful falls to the ground. Although he lands on his feet, he does not move. Blood drips down his face. Slowly, he falls forward, lying face-first on the ground. Slowly, however, Fawful pushes up, barely holding on to consciousness. “Faw…ful… will… not… be… losing… to… your… stupid… face…” “you’re pretty damn resilient, chump.” Sans sighs. “all right. here’s my special attack.” Fawful winces and braces himself for more pain… but nothing happens. Sans stands completely still, hands in his pockets. “Why… is there… no… thing happening?” Fawful wheezes, confused. “that’s my special attack. nothing. you’re too weak to move, so i don’t have to do anything. i just have to wait for you to pass out... and i can finish you..." Sans’ eyes slowly begin to droop as the fatigue of the battle takes its toll. "so, uh... if you wouldn't mind... y'know...“ His voice begins to slur… "...goin' to sleep... dying... somethin' like that..." His eyes were only open a sliver… "it'd make my job... way easier..." (Cue "Megalo Strike Back") As his eyes finally close completely, a slow stream of snores begin to flow from his mouth. Fawful, realizing his opponent had gone to sleep, also realizes he has a last-ditch opportunity. The dark minion takes a step forward. And another. And another. With each weak, wobbling step, Fawful trudges ever closer towards the sleeping skeleton. Now face to face with Sans, Fawful shakily pulls out his ray gun and aims it at the skeleton’s forehead. As Fawful’s wide grin spreads even wider, he pulls the trigger. “I… say to you… GOOD NIGHT, FINK-RAT!” BLAZZT! As quickly as Fawful’s finger pulls the trigger, a blue and white blur shoots to the left of him, avoiding the gun’s beam completely. Fawful’s cocky grin shifts into a look of horror as he sees what the blur was… "what? you think i'm just gonna stand there and take it?" Sans says, his left eye flashing the brightest blue Fawful has ever seen. Before Fawful can fire again, a bone shoots through his wrist, causing him to scream in pain and drop his gun. As he turns to run away, a wall of bones blocks his path. On every side of him, bones burst out of the ground, forming a cage around Fawful and slowly closing in. All around him, several Gaster Blasters are aimed in a circle directly at him. As Fawful makes one last terrified glance towards Sans, the skeleton snaps his fingers. “geeeeeeeetttt dunked on!” The bones slam shut around him. The blasters fire simultaneously. Fawful’s screams of agony echo through the halls of judgement. Later… “YOWIE… WHAT… WHAT HAPPENED?” Papyrus wakes up in the judgement hall. Everything is a mess. Broken bones are piled on top of each other. The floors are riddled with craters. Amongst the wreckage, Sans is lying down, taking a nap. Hearing footsteps, Sans wakes up. “’sup, bro?” Papyrus rushes over to his brother. “SANS! WHAT HAPPENED IN HERE? WHERE IS THAT GREEN GUY?” Sans sits up and smiles at his brother. “what, you don’t remember? i was getting’ my tail kicked by the guy, but then, you rushed at him in a blind rage. you wrecked him in seconds flat, but you passed out cuz you were so tired.” Papyrus thinks for a second. “HMM… NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, I ''DO ''REMEMBER THAT!” Papyrus beams with pride and helps his brother to his feet. “YOU HAVE GOT TO STOP RUSHING INTO FIGHTS LIKE THAT! IF I HADN’T BEEN THERE, WHO KNOWS WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU!” “yeah, i know. thanks, anyways.” Suddenly, behind Sans, Papyrus spies something moving across the floor. He walks past Sans and makes his way over to it. Looking at its face, he recognizes it as being Fawful. “OH HO! STILL HAVEN’T LEARNED YOUR LESSON, CRETIN? NOW THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL TRULY PUT AN END TO YOUR RAMPAGE!” However, before Papyrus can attack him, Sans stops him. “nah, it’s OK, bro. you’ve done enough. let me finish this guy off.” Sans slowly walks over to the Fawful bug, raises his right leg, and brings it down. Squish. KO!!! Results (Cue Song that might play when you fight sans) (Papyrus is seen carrying the squished Fawful Bug into Snowdin, with Sans walking behind him.) '''Boomstick: '''I’m gonna tell him. '''Wiz: '''Don’t you dare… '''Boomstick: '''I’m gonna tell him! '''Wiz: '''Don’t! '''Boomstick: '''I GOTTA TELL HIM! '''Wiz: '''LET HIM HAVE THIS, BOOMSTICK! '''Boomstick: '''FINE! '''Wiz: '''Fawful was clearly outmatched in his normal and winged form, but his Dark form definitely gave him a leg up in strength and durability. But even with all of his power, none of it was any good due to the fact that he couldn’t land a single hit. '''Boomstick: '''Yep, Sans’ dodging ability pretty much cancelled out anything Fawful threw at him. '''Wiz: '''Even if Fawful ''had ''gotten in a lucky shot, Sans might not have died. Even after a human did manage to deal a hit that did 999999 damage, he limped away while still talking as if nothing happened instead of disappearing like every monster does when killed. And even though the human gained EXP and LV from it, Sans was not added to the monster kill counter, implying that he didn’t die at all. '''Boomstick: '''Fair enough. Looks like Fawful just couldn’t take the pun-ishment. '''Wiz: '''The winner is Sans. Next Time Alternate Ending ''This was the original ending, however,'' ''due to a rather controversial and unclear fact about killing Sans and Fawful's ability to do so, it was replaced with the current ending. The following is NON-CANON.''' As Sans’ hands slow, Fawful falls to the ground. Although he lands on his feet, he does not move. Blood drips down his face. Slowly, he falls forward, lying face-first on the ground. Slowly, however, Fawful pushes up, barely holding on to consciousness. “Faw…ful… will… not… be… losing… to… your… stupid… face…” “you’re pretty damn resilient, chump.” Sans sighs. “all right. here’s my special attack.” Fawful winces and braces himself for more pain… but nothing happens. Sans stands completely still, hands in his pockets. “Why… is there… no… thing happening?” Fawful wheezes, confused. “that’s my special attack. you’re too weak to move, so i don’t have to do anything. i just have to wait for you to pass out and—“ Sans is interrupted by a sharp pain ripping through his chest. Fawful had fired one last dark orb, which left him with a gaping hole in his chest. He falls back, clutching his chest. Red liquid drips from his mouth and through his hand. Fawful stands in front of him. He looks down at the skeleton confidently. “Hahahaha! Your carelessness... has opened the door... to a comeback... not expected by you! FAWFUL! HAS! VICTORY!!” Fawful limps toward the king’s chamber, prepared to take on anyone in his way. “so… that’s it then?” Fawful looks back at Sans. He is still sitting on the ground with red liquid seeping through his wound. “you’re just leavin’ it at that? you’re done fighting?” Fawful throws his head back and laughs. “Why would Fawful need to be using any more energy on you? You are dripping red like a paint bottle that is leaking!” (Cue “Majorvania”) Sans smiles and sighs. “you know… it’s a beautiful day outside… birds are singin’… flowers are bloomin’… how about you stop and smell ‘em for a change?” Fawful, puzzled by what the dying skeleton said, shrugs and takes a deep breath. He did smell fresh air… but he smelled something else. Something… familiar. “What is the smelly smell Fawful is smelling?” he takes another deep breath. “It has the smelling of…” “K…Ketchup?” In a flash, Fawful is surrounded by bones. They formed a cage around him that slowly closed in. All around him, several Gaster Blasters are aimed in a circle directly at him. He slowly turns and looks in horror at the one responsible. Sans is standing up, still having a hole in him. His left eye is flashing the brightest blue Fawful had ever seen. Sans' hand gestured at Fawful. He snaps his fingers. “geeeeeeeetttt dunked on!” The bones slam shut around him. The blasters fire simultaneously. Fawful’s screams of agony echo through the halls of judgement. (Return to ''Later...) Author Comments OK. This was fun. I had fun. I hope you had fun reading it. My two favorite funnymen locked in a head-to-head battle. I'm gonna be taking a short break before I post Cortex vs Kaos, mainly because of finals and stuff. Plz wait. thx. bai. Category:What-If? Death Battles Category:'Villain vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:'Anti-Hero vs. Villain' Themed Death Battles Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Series Category:Death Battles by 2 Different Companies Category:'Indie vs Original' themed Death Battles Category:Flip D. Switch Category:Completed What-If? Death Battles Category:'Hero vs. Villain' themed Death Battles Category:'Supernatural' themed Death Battles Category:Undertale vs Mario themed Death Battles Category:What-If? Death Battles completed in 2015